Wu Ang

Translated by Cecily Chen

回忆录的片断（三）

他让我站起来
我想，那是为了
让我们的关系长久一些
我听从他
第二次
他让我坐下
我想，那也是为了
让我们的关系长久一些
我又屈从了

从此，他不停地让我站起来
在我想坐下的瞬间
让我坐下
在我想站在他面前的瞬间
他的眼睛盯着我
好象很爱我

我总是吸取前科
服从他
我不想在一个月内换男友
然后他称我为“村姑”
那是因为
他来自一个偏远而肮脏的城市
有过一个脚上长冻疮的童年 

我屈从
我同情他那种简单的惩罚方式
对一个他再也无法得到的女人
他还能够怎样

我在脑子里
简单地布置了一下分手的方式
然后，很自然地坐到他分开的腿上

fragments of a memoir (part iii)

he tells me to stand up 
i think, it is to
make our relationship last a little while longer 
so i obey 
the second time
he tells me to sit down 
i think, again, it is to
make our relationship last a little while longer 
so i obey once more 

from then on, he tells me, again and again, to stand up 
in the moments that i wanted to sit down 
he would tell me to sit down 
and in the moments that i wanted to stand before him 
he would stare into me
as if deeply in love 

i always learn from past mistakes 
i listen to him 
i don’t want another boyfriend after just a month 
he calls me ‘uncouth’
because 
he comes from a city faraway although still filthy 
he had a childhood with feet covered in frostbites 

i obey 
i feel pity for the minimal punishment that he executes 
what more can he do 
to a woman that he can never possess 

in my mind 
i make minimal arrangements for how to break up
and then i sit on his spread open thighs, a creature of habit 

next author >>>

Wu Ang (1974~) is a Chinese poet, journalist, and dating advice columnist based in Beijing. Her works include the poetry collection What Awakes Me At Night (2002) and essay collection Wu Ang at High Noon (2001). 

Cecily Chen is a PhD student in English literature and gender and sexuality studies at the University of Chicago. Her work focuses on fucked up Chinese women and bad sex. When she isn’t pampering her cat, Colette, she also edits poetry for Chicago Review.